For the first time I am going on tour. I have been doing stand-up intermittently for the past ten years and now think it’s time to travel around the country charging people a full ticket price to watch. Feel free to buy one to see if I’m right.

I have spent my life trying to avenge the theft of my foreskin. This show is about that. I cannot express how much this show is about being circumcised, please do not buy a ticket under any other illusion.

Despite this tour, I will still refer to myself as an actor and not a comedian when I go on Sunday Brunch because otherwise people will expect me to be funny, an expectation which, to be fair, I should have got used to by now, and which you are quite frankly fully entitled to have if you buy a ticket. What can I say? I’ll try my absolute best.

I do hope to see you somewhere near your home town.